Camper's Notes : The Sweetest Link Part 3

With that said, the primary readiness for a relationship involves the wisdom of choosing a right partner. The following qualities are what would make a pivotal difference in the happiness of a relationship:

• Sense of responsibility. A person must be responsible and accountable in order to handle the demands of a committed relationship. He or she must be able to answer to the demands of real-life expectations and fulfill promises made.

• Emotional stability. A person who lacks emotional stability would not be able to provide the trustworthiness and dependability so important to a healthy relationship. Only those who are emotionally stable can provide the steadfastness, both in affection and otherwise, so essential in a partner.

• Leadership quality. Leadership quality is a combination of responsibility and initiative. A person with such qualities will be able to direct a family, either outside or inside the home. It is a quality that one can observe through time spent in church, school, and other community settings. (Insert: personal ad for camp officers, hehe).
  
• Ability to Focus on Others’ Needs. A person who is selfish will never be able to sustain a relationship, for a relationship is about service and forgiveness. A potential partner must be someone who helps others consistently in real life, not only in a couple setting.
  Empathy. A partner must be someone understanding. An unsympathetic person cannot be supportive within a relationship.

In personal evaluation and in evaluating someone else, one must make sure that there is at least one respected adult advisor involved. Such people help us observe things we ourselves cannot see, and they can supply opinions regarding a person’s character out of their concern and experience.

Beautiful as true love with a right partner at the right time is, the world teaches myths about love that steal our joy:

• You need a significant other to be happy. Joy is found in the Lord. No earthly thing is essential to one’s complete happiness.

• Marriage will make me happy. Once again, no earthly thing is indispensable to happiness, and marriage is not an ending point that will bring happiness in and of itself.

• A partner will make me complete. We are complete in Christ. There is nothing lacking in a person’s life merely because he or she is single. A person’s completeness can be lacking only when he or she has not found the Lord.

While a relationship can be fulfilling, there are also cool reasons to be single for the season of waiting:

• Personal identity. One who is single does not need to face the baggage and pressure of an identity linked to or formed by one’s significant other.

• Controlling the remote. A single person can make life decisions without having to consider the impact or consequences the decisions would bring to a partner.
  
• School, work, etc. When single, a person has much greater time and attention to devote to other areas of life.
  
• Jealousy will be a problem. Jealousy is a tricky and perhaps inevitable relationship issue that can consume much time, thought, and emotion. Someone single can be free from its influences.
  
• Power to have high standards. An attached person has to focus on the relationship with the person at hand; a single person can maintain high standards in the search for a partner.
  
• Better friendships. Someone single always has more freedom of time than someone in a relationship. That time can be invested in building better friendships with others.
  
• Nothing to lose. A single can have greater freedom in trying new things, for there is no fear of losing or offending one’s partner.
  
• Sweaty palms? Who cares! When one is single, there is less worry about one’s impression upon others and no worries about what one’s partner would think about one’s appearance and so forth.
  
• The sky’s the limit. With no strings attached, one can shoot for the stars carefree.
  Time to figure. Singlehood gives one time to ponder upon one’s life and choices. One can figure out what he or she wants, what he or she has to do, and how God is calling him or her.

Camper's Notes : The Sweetest Link Part 1

(Nota bene: The notes were taken by one of the campers, Sis. Wenslyn Reyes, as the special Topic, The Sweetest Link, was delivered by Bro. Collen Lo during the YGC Student Conference-Real or No Deal.. )

THE SWEETEST LINK
Brother Collen Lo

A quick survey of the young people present indicates that people do want relationships in the span of their lifetimes. All desire to be attached in one way or another. The difference is, however, that people seek these relationships in different ways.

Human standards change. Clothes that were fashionable a few decades ago are ridiculous today. The standards for beauty and practice in clothing, hair, and other forms of art are varying in every generation. Yet the standard of God’s Word does not change, and we need to submit our lovelives to whatever it is He has to say about this area.

How Should We View Dating and Courtship?

It is true that romantic relationships fulfill a need of human nature. They often provide the comfort, affirmation, and companionship that people naturally desire. The fact is, however, that young people are unable to handle the emotional and physical pressures that accompany premature romantic attachment.

Love in itself is no evil thing; it is a beautiful invention of God. Yet just like so many good things in this world, it can be applied by fallen human beings in sinful and wrong ways.
A look at the modern dating scene will reflect this reality.

Modern dating practices, based on emotions and passion, often lead to sexual arousal that ought to be renounced. The norms of society are based upon a desire for self-gratification. People enter relationships seeking to be entertained, to be cared for, and to be satisfied emotionally, physically, or otherwise.

God’s Word speaks clearly against sexual involvement outside of marriage. It is a detestable act in His sight, and an act that will reap definite consequences. Therefore, practices that are founded upon impurity should be rejected. There is simply no other way to true romantic happiness except by the way of the original manual, the infallible Word of God.

A closer look at the patterns of dating will show their defectiveness.

1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment. Couples tend to become too close to each other emotionally and physically without truly having a committed relationship in mind for the near future.


2. Dating tends to skip the “friendship” stage of a relationship. Jumping directly into dating will keep people from observing each other in the more neutral ground of friendship.
   Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love. Society’s dating patterns tend to emphasize the physical aspect of a relationship, and couples often confuse physical intimacy with true, giving love.


3. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships. Premature dating relationships usually occupy so much time for couples that they have no quality time to commit to family, friends, and other vital relationships.


4. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. When young people are in a relationship leading nowhere, they often don’t have time and effort left to develop their god-given talents, or to fulfill their current responsibilities.
   


5. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness. Dating often crowds out the human mind with an idea that singlehood is not good, while it is actually a beautiful season of life given by God.


6. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character. Relationships built upon secluded time together prevent individuals from understanding each other in the context of reality.

(to be continued...)