- Sense of responsibility. A person must be responsible and accountable in order to handle the demands of a committed relationship. He or she must be able to answer to the demands of real-life expectations and fulfill promises made.
- Emotional stability. A person who lacks emotional stability would not be able to provide the trustworthiness and dependability so important to a healthy relationship. Only those who are emotionally stable can provide the steadfastness, both in affection and otherwise, so essential in a partner.
- Leadership quality. Leadership quality is a combination of responsibility and initiative. A person with such qualities will be able to direct a family, either outside or inside the home. It is a quality that one can observe through time spent in church, school, and other community settings. (Insert: personal ad for camp officers, hehe).
- Ability to Focus on Others’ Needs. A person who is selfish will never be able to sustain a relationship, for a relationship is about service and forgiveness. A potential partner must be someone who helps others consistently in real life, not only in a couple setting.
Empathy. A partner must be someone understanding. An unsympathetic person cannot be supportive within a relationship.
In personal evaluation and in evaluating someone else, one must make sure that there is at least one respected adult advisor involved. Such people help us observe things we ourselves cannot see, and they can supply opinions regarding a person’s character out of their concern and experience.
Beautiful as true love with a right partner at the right time is, the world teaches myths about love that steal our joy:
- You need a significant other to be happy. Joy is found in the Lord. No earthly thing is essential to one’s complete happiness.
- Marriage will make me happy. Once again, no earthly thing is indispensable to happiness, and marriage is not an ending point that will bring happiness in and of itself.
- A partner will make me complete. We are complete in Christ. There is nothing lacking in a person’s life merely because he or she is single. A person’s completeness can be lacking only when he or she has not found the Lord.
While a relationship can be fulfilling, there are also cool reasons to be single for the season of waiting:
- Personal identity. One who is single does not need to face the baggage and pressure of an identity linked to or formed by one’s significant other.
- Controlling the remote. A single person can make life decisions without having to consider the impact or consequences the decisions would bring to a partner.
- School, work, etc. When single, a person has much greater time and attention to devote to other areas of life.
- Jealousy will be a problem. Jealousy is a tricky and perhaps inevitable relationship issue that can consume much time, thought, and emotion. Someone single can be free from its influences.
- Power to have high standards. An attached person has to focus on the relationship with the person at hand; a single person can maintain high standards in the search for a partner.
- Better friendships. Someone single always has more freedom of time than someone in a relationship. That time can be invested in building better friendships with others.
- Nothing to lose. A single can have greater freedom in trying new things, for there is no fear of losing or offending one’s partner.
- Sweaty palms? Who cares! When one is single, there is less worry about one’s impression upon others and no worries about what one’s partner would think about one’s appearance and so forth.
- The sky’s the limit. With no strings attached, one can shoot for the stars carefree.
Time to figure. Singlehood gives one time to ponder upon one’s life and choices. One can figure out what he or she wants, what he or she has to do, and how God is calling him or her.
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